In addition, elderly people people do policy for both so you’re able to sleep-in that home for per night. When they note that nothing happened due to worry because of the boy, this new old guys, as a result of their brother, manage plan out briefing instructions to tell the latest boy whom the new woman is indeed he is not any longer forget regarding girls and feminine. There is certainly a common religion that women “bite” among young people, and no you to definitely dares to say opposite viewpoints. Due to this religion, boys and you will girls don’t rush into the marriage and you can, as a result, they usually wed from the chronilogical age of 30 or thirty five.
This new boy narrates so you can his cousin most of the characters of one’s girl he has loved and would like to from no less than about three, spanning the students guy, their uncle, plus one cousin yet not his parents, check outs the latest girl’s house to ensure that both of these edges understand for every almost every other better
Then, parents and you may uncles ( eni mbumba ) (who owns the children) are often eager to provides their boy otherwise girl discover a beneficial compatible relationship mate. Though some of them strategies is actually shrinking, they still form part of the youth’s way to bringing ong the Chewa.
One of the Chewa , whenever a person proposes relationships to a girl, it is not obvious that they will wed quickly. There’s a procedure that comes to uncles, aunties, parents, chiefs, or any other important people in the community. ” Even with getting selecting the person, your lover cannot state “yes” during the very first proposition regarding people. The person has to justify their updates a few times through to the girl nods toward suggestion. Up until now, some men throw in the towel thought the fresh new girl isn’t in search of all of them.
According to Chewa culture, it’s completely wrong on girl to press this link now just accept a married relationship offer to start with exposure to a man. The fresh new girl has to decrease anticipate with the intention that the woman is viewed because “good,” perhaps not desperate, not effortless, and you can anybody dudes is also struggle for.
Acknowledging this new proposition at initial contact with the man was good indication of tiredness throughout the girl. They signals she is “inexpensive.” Additionally, in the event your guy matches to win the girl after a impede in the acknowledging an offer, it indicators a strong relationships. Additionally means that the person is strong and durable enough. Further, it assurances one even in the event they deal with pressures in-marriage, one another might be sufficiently strong enough to manage situations.
At first, in the event that man meets the fresh girl, the man claims, “ Chemwali ndakukondani, n’kadakonda ndithu n’takukwatirani,” meaning “Lady, I love you, and waiting to marry you
This process is named “kufunsira mbeta,” meaning matrimony suggestion . If girl eventually allows, the man gives the girl chikole ( some thing physical that the woman otherwise a man can show someone else one this woman is interested). Common products made use of since the chikole tend to be mikanda (jewelry) , content feminine constantly use to wrap more than their brains, or other procedure one thing. Supplying the lady chikole shows that the guy is actually serious about marrying the latest girl and you can inhibits the newest girl out-of are approached of the other men to possess wedding proposals. Whenever another guy approache your woman, she suggests brand new chikole so you’re able to block your off continuous his enhances.
Because the girl welcomes the fresh new proposal, she suggests the guy to share with their own buddy about it. As previously mentioned before, one of the Chewa, new cousin is mwini mbumba (proprietor of one’s children in the clan). In the event the guy arranges to visit the fresh cousin of your girl, the guy will not wade alone. At first, he’s got to share with their brother concerning girl he has got advised relationships to help you. After they arrived at the new girl’s uncle, their unique buddy will even not be by yourself – he could be always joined because of the most other household members of your girl however, maybe not their moms and dads. And when new boy’s group appear, they do conversations named malonje (introductions and you may welcoming feedback).
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